


a stranger you were once

by punkrockbadger



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Male Character of Color, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 08:11:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3761041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkrockbadger/pseuds/punkrockbadger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Soulmate AU] She never thought it would happen so soon, but here they are-- well, here she is. He's gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a stranger you were once

“You know, Lily”, James says, tapping her nose with the tip of his index finger, “if you keep your face like that long enough, it’ll stay that way.” She laughs, the frown she’s been wearing for hours now melting off her face, and his grin could light the world. “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing.” And she’s being honest, because she can’t quite remember what she was thinking. It’s more a constant sense of terror, lurking at the edges of all of her thoughts and turning them a dingy shade of gray that she remembers from elephants in the zoo. “I don’t know.”

James, to his credit, sees her slipping into yet another set of thoughts she shouldn’t be dwelling on, and wraps his arms around her waist, craning his neck to plant a kiss on her neck. “We’ll be alright. Don’t worry about it.”

“We will be.” Lily says, more confidently than she feels, and hopes to anyone that will hear that she’s right.

* * *

Every once in awhile, it becomes too apparent that they are only nineteen, and it’s never been that way more so than now.

It’s eight in the morning on a Saturday, and she’s watching James struggle with his shoelaces. She’s trying to keep a straight face as he fumbles the knot for the fourth time in as many minutes, and he hasn’t yelled yet, so it’s a significant improvement over last time. If she let him, he’d wander around barefoot forever, but that’s simply not an option when there were Death Eaters about, cutting off whatever limb you were least protective of at the moment.

“We have to be at headquarters in ten minutes.” She says, carefully testing the waters. “Can’t you do it by magic?”

“That would take the fun out of it.” James’ concentration face has never been more hilarious than it is now, and she’s glad that he manages to get both shoes tied before she bursts into laughter. “There we go. Crisis averted, right?”

“I guess so.” She rolls her eyes at how proud James looks. “Come on. Off to Dumbledore for a real crisis to handle.”

“Oh, good.” James quips, grinning. “Haven’t had enough excitement in my day yet.”

It’s only when James has gone through the Floo that she realizes he’s forgotten his keys. He’ll need them, if he’s planning on coming back, and she slips them into her pocket before she goes through.

Later, she wonders if he already knew.

* * *

“We’ve got an assignment.” James says, already practically bouncing in his need to get outside and do something, when Lily comes through the fireplace. “You, me and Sirius. Suspected activity out in the middle of nowhere. Easy takedown.”

“We bring back whoever we can for questioning.” Sirius adds. He looks much more tired than he did last week, when he looked more tired than the week before. She worries for all of her boys, but especially this one. “The Aurors will take them.”

“Sounds good.” A quick and clean mission. They haven’t had one of those in months. And, after this, they’ve got a whole week off. Maybe she’ll finally get James to do her laundry too, if she asks nicely. “Ready, boys?”

“We’ll have to tie Potter down.” Sirius laughs, when James nearly drops his wand in an effort to unroll the paper and memorize the coordinates. “But you’ve got that handled, haven’t you?”

“Oh, I’ll handle it later.” James doesn’t seem to notice, and she hardly thinks he’d have cared. “Isn’t that right, James?”

“Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Was listening to everything you said.” He nods seriously, frowning as he notices Sirius doubling over in laughter, and looks to Lily in confusion. “What did you say?”

“You’re going to need a little more concentration than that, if you’re getting into a firefight.” She says, fondly slapping at his shoulder, and they all see each other next in the middle of a grassy field. The grass is tall enough that the tips brush Lily’s waist, and James is trying his best to be stealthy and failing miserably. She scans the area they’ve landed in, trying to mark as many details as possible—if the Death Eaters were here, they wouldn’t let them alone long.

The ground is wet, mud squelching beneath their shoes, and Lily is glad that James had managed to tie his shoes this morning. That would have been horrible to handle. Sometimes, she wonders whether she is raising a child or keeping track of her husband.

“So, is rain even real?” James groans, trying to wipe the mud off on the grass, and she smiles, shaking her head as she notes a few hiding places.

She doesn’t realize why the words sound so familiar, or match them to the tingling in her wrist, until it is too late.

And, suddenly, all the memories are rushing to her—Petunia teasing her for having such silly words on her wrist, Severus rolling his eyes and saying that whoever she is destined for must be a little mad, her mother’s laughter the first time Lily asked what her words meant—and James is smiling at her.

“James, James, you have to go—“ She pleads, wondering how, and when it will happen. James’ mouth opens in confusion, and he is about to say one last thing. This is it. “I love you!” She yells, wanting that to be the last thing he hears, and James clutches his wrist before slumping over suddenly.

She doesn’t have to see the green light to know.

This was a set up.

She and Sirius somehow make it back in one piece, and Sirius is screaming that they need to go back, that they can’t leave him with them, that James deserves better, but this is war. They all know the rules. A party will be sent tomorrow, and if they were kind enough to leave something of James behind, the Order will handle it.

It is all business, from here.

Lily idly rubs her thumb over the words on the inside of her wrist.  
  
“Is rain even real?” She remembers reading aloud, as a child, and wondering why someone would say something that silly before they left her forever.

Now, she realizes that she never really wanted to know in the first place.


End file.
